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Self Control

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Self-control means that in strong emotional situations you are able to deal with your own emotions; you've control over your own behavior, you manage to control your wishes, needs and urges and you know how to prevent escalations. So you not only know what is the right thing to do, you also act accordingly.

What does self-control mean?

Someone who has a lot of self-control:

- controls himself.
- doesn't get angry easily.
- don't let go fast.
- responds evenly; shows controlled and predictable work behavior.
- has its own emotions under control. The negative doesn't prevail and positive feelings are quickly recovered.
- puts 'ups and downs' in perspective; don't let yourself be carried away by your own emotions.
- transfers personal irritation factually and calmly.

Why is self-control important?

If you want to participate in today's society and maintain social contacts, self-control is not a superfluous luxury. In our Western culture, dealing with anger is an important social skill. For many employees, uncertainties about their responsibilities are a major cause of frustration. Occasionally getting angry to indicate your limits is not a problem. Research has shown that excessive self-control can even lead to cardiovascular disease and depression. It is good to set your limits, but it's difficult for your colleagues, employees or bosses to sell a blow or swear the skin if you are annoyed by them. What matters is that you try to defend your interests without damaging the relationship with the other. That is why you should always respond proportionally: not too violently, but also not too gently. If you hit around too often or too fiercely, you will eventually cause a lot of annoyance or you will not be taken seriously anymore.

Why do we lose our self-control?

There are all kinds of theories about anger. Most depend on how society thinks about anger. According to the frustration-aggression theory, anger is an instinct that comes up when we are thwarted in our desires and desires. Most psychologists believe that aggression and anger are learned behaviors, because we have copied and copied it from others in the past. There are many reasons why people make it a habit to get angry; because someone - in the short term - benefits from it, radiates power with it, suffers from stress, or because then he doesn't have to show that he doesn't know or can't do certain things.

What to do if you've limited self-control?

You can train self-control, but one person takes more effort than the other. By training patience you are less inclined to be annoyed and it's easier to put things aside. This keeps you thinking rationally and helps you deal with stress better. Practicing self-control is not a matter of pushing away your emotions. The point is that you learn to accept your angry feeling and at the same time your ratio is above that anger. What can you do to increase your self-control? The following steps will help you on your way:

Evaluate for yourself when you had no control over your emotions in your work Usually a physical 'pre-signal' precedes this: your earlobes get warm, you get a dry throat or you start to sweat violently. Which physical change took place at your place? What went through your mind at that time? And what was the idea behind it? For example: "I can't stand it when people lie. " Consider what resulted from your thought. Consider both feelings and behavior. Search for underlying patterns. What else could you do in such situations?

Try to apply your new behavior. Practice your new behavior regularly. Those who regularly practice disciplined behavior can suppress their impulses for longer at difficult moments. In addition, always evaluate for yourself what is going well and where adjustments are needed.

Take a time out on time. When you find yourself in a situation where you risk losing your self-control, count to ten before you respond. If this doesn't help, take a break and pick up the thread if you feel able to approach the situation in a businesslike way. In situations where you don't have the ability to distance yourself, such as in a meeting, try to look at yourself as an objective third party. Speak to your mind. More relative, try to make yourself laugh. A good mood contributes to the restoration of your self-control.

A few handy tips:

- Relax: Make sure you don't get over-stimulated, both mentally and physically. Your self-control is greatest when you are rested and without stress. So take enough sleep and, after strenuous tasks, find targeted relaxation. Practice relaxation techniques to stay calm in situations where you risk losing your self-control.
- Ensure a stable sugar level: A stable sugar level reduces the chance of impulsivity. Therefore, be careful with sweets and white flour products and eat sufficient protein and complex carbohydrates (whole-grain products, legumes, nuts, vegetables).
- Watch your posture: Arms folded over each other will strengthen your tenacity. It reminds you physically of your intention not to give in to anything.

How do you demonstrate self-control when applying?

It is important for every profession and for every position that you've a certain degree of self-control. If you shoot at the slightest or the least, it's difficult to work with you. For some professions, however, it's necessary that you appear calm at all times, such as the profession of police officer. For all professions, you can demonstrate the skill of self-control in an application by describing a situation as concretely as possible (the STAR method ). Emphasize the process that you've gone through and describe the results achieved.

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